Stage 5: round-up

As Essjaymoo pointed out in her stage preview, last night’s stage was long and flat.  It was Brittany, though, so we expected some treacherous winds, but at times last night the cycling resembled a demolition derby.  Definitely more crash than vaches.  In fact the only cow sighting I got came at 61.3km.  The group was in the distance and could quite well have been horses given that they were the featured quadruped of the stage.

Sweet pasture, but no cows

Image: Zimbio

It fell to the SBS troll DJ to liven things up between accidents.

  • Girls Aloud’s “Can’t Speak French” was a disappointing kick-off, but I guess even DJs need to do some preliminary stretching.
  • An unidentifiable dance track had us all stumped at the second ad break, and some viewers fired up their Shazam apps in readiness for what was shaping up to be a battle of wits.
  • “She’s Got a New Spell” by Billy Bragg was chosen to bring us back to some footage of the crashes so far

The laws of gravity are very, very strict

  • Editors’ “Find Yourself a Safe Place” was good advice.  The only safe place is, of course, at the front of the peloton as Paul Sherwen likes to remind us.  Last night Phil finally responded with what I’m sure we have all shouted at the television when this is trotted out over the years: “They can’t all ride at the front of the peloton, though”.
  • Shampoo’s “We’re in Trouble” was a case of stating the obvious
  • The mountain points of playlisting had clearly been allocated for the night, as we got “Smile” by Uncle Kracker, which was roundly reviled. Cowrespondent Kate was able to make a link between the line “buzz like a bee” and Frank Shleck, who had swallowed one during his stage 2 ride.
  • Other… eagle-eared? That doesn’t sound right… listeners picked up “No Way” by The Naked and the Famous.  I’m not sure if the choice was for the let’s-never-speak-of-this-again lyric or that we were seeing well-known riders showing quite a lot of flesh due to torn kit.
  • Finally, CJ picked up “Green Limousine” by the Badloves.  I guess this was for the green jersey holder, but I’m going to take it as a nod to the breed of central France, the mighty Limousin.

To the cycling.  The race will continue today without Janez Brajkovic of Team Radioshack, who hit the road hard.  Christophe Kern of Team Europcar seemed to avoid the crashes, but withdrew not long after Brajkovic with knee problems.  As the remaining riders approached the finish, Thomas Vealckler had a crack at a breakaway, but the sprinters wanted the finish and they were able to catch him.  Team HTC timed their run perfectly and Mark Cowvendish took the stage.  The only rider needing to find a new jersey today is Philippe Gilbert, who will be wearing the green.

Honourable moo-ntions:
  • Tom Boonen has earned a cow-named Moonen for his valiant struggle to the finish within the cut-off time after his crash.
  • Despite the fact that I stated last night “Dave Zabriskie is a vegan. I have no use for him”, the man did an amazing amount of work at the front of the peloton.  I can only imagine how he’d go if he paid heed to the “Feed the man meat” campaign.

4 thoughts on “Stage 5: round-up

  1. Gem says:

    Absolutely laughing my arse off reading the blog in general but you had me at:

    “Definitely more crash than vaches.”

    Jesus, I love you so much I just typed in tags and closed them and everything!

    • Injera says:

      Thanks, Gem! I was sniggering to myself when I thought of that, I’m not ashamed to say. Also… THANKS for adding us to the EDS blogroll. Greatly flattered.

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